The Image of You

Most recent of the TMB thought nudgers, is a piece about the differences in perception. (Stay with me, it’s not that bad.) The differences I’m talking about are the ones between the person we see in the mirror and the one “society” says we should be. This one always gets me going. That’s easily explained because I’m not on the list of “attractive and desirable” people. Ok, to some I am, but that’s different.

Once again, she starts with a quote, one that works best if reproduced the way she published it:

Most poets are
like a belly
dancer
who never
reveals anything
below her waist
I won’t tease
you like that
for I love when
your eyes get
e
x
c
i
t
e
d.

The quote is from Rumi, undoubtedly one of the most romantic writers in history. No matter who it comes from, think about what it conveys. The quote runs down the side of the page next to a picture of a belly dancer. First, you have the image of the belly dancer in your head. Stop. Right there. How many belly dancers, I mean real belly dancers, have you seen that are stick figure women? NOT A ONE! They can’t be! There is a great deal of muscle required to perform as they do. On top of that, they know that a woman is supposed to have curves. That’s part of the culture from which they come. Then you have the tease and the reveal. If that doesn’t get you at least a little bit tingly, check to make sure you still have a pulse.

She goes on to talk about how growth, age, and the rigors of womanhood change the shape of some of the parts. Obviously, I can’t address those issues, other than as an observer. Tight pre-teen abs soften to allure giving way to the nurturing environment of motherhood. Some women refer to what remains as “baby belly.” Some don’t use the reference and just say they’re fat. You know what? You’re not fat. Just because the supermodel can return to her pre-pregnancy size and shape doesn’t mean she should. It’s not just the belly either. The hips undergo, what to my eyes is, a radical change. Your bones actually spread and widen to make room for that squirming critter crawling around your insides, and then to push it out! DAMN! Oh by the way, those hips you now have look pretty hot to a large number of men.

So now you look in the mirror, having just stepped out of the shower, and you make that face and that noise. The label? Disgust. Well, shame on you!!! You now have a body that has proven itself capable of sustaining and continuing life. Coded into the male is the primal urge to seek out such bodies. Once upon a time ago, males looked for females that could procreate. Those instincts still exist. There was a study conducted a few years ago that proved it. Shown silhouettes of various shapes and sizes of women, men overwhelmingly said those with wider hips and larger breasts were the most attractive! Now, I’m not referring to the gargantuan breasts of the surgical design, of course. Personally, I don’t find fake boobies attractive. Ladies, if you lie on your back and your boobies are pointing at the ceiling, I want nothing to do with them. If they slide off your chest toward the side, I’m grinning! Oh and that sag you all hate so much. Think about this: Your man walks up behind you, slides his hands around your sides, under those sagging bits, and hefts them. Do you honestly think we don’t enjoy that?!?

So where is this going? It goes to the adjustment in attitude that TMB has undergone over the years, as have some of my other friends. KS is one of those that I refer to as an Earth Mother. You know the ones. More round than straight. Not rolls upon rolls, but soft. EG is another. I’m very fortunate to know such beauties. My hunny has her areas of soft, too. Yep, part of why I love her. All four of these women will acknowledge that they are not supermodel material. But each, in her own way, is working or has worked through to a point of self-acceptance. Whenever I hear or read such an account, I am overjoyed! Even better is to see the smile on such a woman when she is loved and appreciated for who she is.

So guys, find that soft woman and appreciate her! Tell her she’s beautiful and desirable. Tell her to put away that diet soda and drink some milk! As long as she is healthy, and not endangering her health with excess body material, she’s gorgeous. If she happens to be a mother, then she’s that much more beautiful.

Blessings, Love and Peace to you all.

  • What a beautiful read.
    You make me feel beautiful.
    I am loving myself more and more, such words from you only manage to create a world where women… and men for that matter, stop worrying about the outside and start to nurture the heart. The rest will take care of itself.
    Namaste Mr Laughing Bear,
    friend of mine and lover of life
    xxx

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